Signs Of Life: Political Humor With A Bite

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." So Said the Great Will Rogers.

The Following Was Posted by: Concerned Citizen | August 16, 2005 05:30 AM

I was curious; I took it upon myself to e-mail the mayor. I was impressed by the speedy response -- on a Sunday!!!!! However the answer well, what do you think:

Thank you for your note. As Mayor, I am specifically prohibited from interfering with the Personnel system. The Charter gives that authority to the Chief Administrative Officer (James B. Lewis). I can tell you that in regard to Officer Hancock, only one side of the story has been told. In as much as there is litigation pending, I cannot comment any further.

The Following Was Posted by: oN oT ytraM zevahC | August 17, 2005 02:32 PM

The Mayor's Office response:
"Thank you for your note."

Interpretation:
"Oh damn, you wrote."

The Mayor's Office response:
"As Mayor, I am specifically prohibited from interfering with the Personnel system."

Interpretation:
"I have been apprised about Officer Hancock's previous history of misconduct and am fully aware that the city has been sued four times. We are now most likely facing ummm, number five. If I go out on a limb and condemn this officer's actions, I run the risk of losing the law enforcement vote in this critical election year. I may have over a million dollars but I'm not stupid. Those police have a way of keeping dirty information on politicians.

This is a nasty controversy and I intend to slip out of it the same way I did when my teenage daughter was busted drinking; I am going to ignore it and hope the people of Albuquerque are more interested in my dear doggie, Dukes."

The Mayor's Office response:
"The Charter gives that authority to the Chief Administrative Officer (James B. Lewis)."

Interpretation:
"This is double-speak which allows me to avoid directly dealing with the issue. My political appointee, James B. Lewis, who has reversed previous findings and ignored recommendations from the Police Oversight Commission should to be able to handle this politically sticky situation for me. Lord knows, in the past when it suited my interests I have intervened by calling upon those whom I have appointed to shake things up. This time however, doesn't seem quite right. I don't want to upset the police in an election year - God knows what they might do."

The Mayor's Office response:
"I can tell you that in regard to Officer Hancock, only one side of the story has been told."

Interpretation:
"Okay while I cannot 'comment' on the Moss beating, I am going to comment on it in a way as to cast doubt on Moss' allegation that he was beaten up by a police officer in the department of the city which I am Mayor of. In short, I want to make Offier Hancock look good and I want to put some doubt in people's minds about the alleged victim. Also, while I will not comment on it openly, I can say that I have talked to the Police and they have told me that only one side of the story has been told."

The Mayor's Office response:
"In as much as there is litigation pending, I cannot comment any further."

Interpretation:
"In as much as, my previous statement should hopefully plant seeds of doubt into your mind that a good officer beat up a bad, black drunken doctor who was here on a two month sabbatical in order to volunteer his time and valuable skills as a heart surgeon to poverty-stricken Navajo Indian children while he was awaiting his deployment to Iraq where he will heroically save lives of red-blooded American soldiers, you should be able to read between the lines. Do you read me here?"

"In as much as we, as a city, have been sued four times because of Officer Hancock's alleged misconduct and in as much as we have already settled two cases and in as much as we, have been sued in Federal Court over Officer Hancock at least twice. I would be a fool to do anything other than say nothing at this point because we may be fixing to get sued for a fifth time because of Officer Hancock.

Dear Concerned Citizen and oN oT ytraM zevahC,

From the very bottom of our hearts- thank you.

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[The Voice]

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